Will Maury Povich Appear in Star Wars Episode VIII?

For the past year, everyone and their brother has come up with a theory about who Rey’s parents are. For a long while, Luke Skywalker was the leader in the clubhouse to be her dad, but lately things have gotten more complicated.

Daisy Ridley said recently that she thought it was obvious who Rey’s parents are, which lead many to watch The Force Awakens another hundred times. The moment most seem to focus in on is when Obi-Wan speaks to Rey after she picks up the Skywalker family heirloom. It’s patently obvious that Kenobi cannot cannot be Rey’s father, unless of course someone got it on with a Force ghost.

Eww.

However, Obi-Wan could be Rey’s grandfather. I warn you that I am about to do some math, and it won’t be pretty. But I think it is fairly accurate. That is if you can trust Wookieepedia.

The first thing you need to know is that unlike Star Trek, there is no in-universe calendar in the Star Wars films. At some point, Lucasfilm decided they should create a timeline, and thus they declared that the events in A New Hope (specifically, the Battle of Yavin) take place in “Year Zero,” and everything else takes place before the Battle of Yavin, (BBY) or after (ABY). For example: The Phantom Menace is set in 32 BBY, and The Force Awakens is set in 34 ABY, which adds up to a sixty-seven year period, because you have to include the zero year. And this is from a guy who failed algebra.

In The Clone Wars, it is intimated that Obi-Wan once had an affair with Duchess Satine Kryze of Mandalore. If the relationship resulted in a child, he or she would have been born prior to The Phantom Menace, since during the time Obi-Wan and Satine were together, she was under the protection of both Masters Kenobi and Jinn.

Wookiepedia says that Rey is nineteen in The Force Awakens, so who am I to argue with them? If one of her parents is the offspring Obi-Wan and Satine, they would be around fifty at the time of birth. Not out of the realm of possibility–just saying. Maybe Rey is Obi-Wan and Satine’s great-granddaughter.

After the most recent episode of Rebels, some have posited the theory that Sabine Wren is the offspring of which we speak. It’s possible, but it means that Obi-Wan and Satine hooked up during the Clone Wars. Sabine was born in 21 BBY, (one year into the war) and Satine died in 19 BBY (just prior to Revenge of the Sith). So, it’s possible . . . From a certain point of view.

To further complicate things/make them weird, there are those who buy into the Sabine is Rey’s mother theory, and have moved on to speculation about her father. Some are Team Ezra Bridger, which seems unlikely, to say the least. But it could happen. I guess. Others are Team Luke Skywalker, which is equally hard to buy into. Talk about a case of “opposites attract.”

Despite the evidence, I am finding most of this hard to swallow. As much as Lucasfilm touts that all the Star Wars media is connected, it’s mostly a one way street. It’s one thing for a minor character from The Clone Wars (Saw Gerrera) to pop up in Rogue One, it’s another for a major character from the films to have a parent or grandparent that is a minor character from an animated TV series. But I could be wrong.

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