My Life is neither Rom nor Com (part two)

Romantic comedies occasionally feature a love triangle, because those are always fun. The common scenario has the lead character in a long term relationship, (usually engaged to be married) when out of thin air, their “soul mate” appears. That has never happened to me, but I am sure everyone I have ever dated wished it would happen to them.

The closest thing to a love triangle I have ever experienced is when I meet two women with different personalities, but I like them equally. This is really less of a love triangle and more about being paralyzed by choice, because I am not used to having options. And when I do have options, (all things being equal) I usually make the wrong choice. Do I wear the grey shirt that makes me feel confident, (relatively speaking) or do I wear the blue shirt that brings out the color of my eyes? The usual answer is: It doesn’t matter.

And by “grey shirt” and “blue shirt” I am obviously talking about a Star Wars T-shirt or a Doctor Who T-shirt.

And no, I was not comparing women to shirts. Let me make that clear.

As I was saying: I would be attracted to the more outgoing of the two, most likely because I was hoping for a bit of personality transference, since I am lacking in that department. The problem is that we would often have very little in common.

Meanwhile, I would have deep meaningful conversations with the other woman. Usually it would be about things we had in common. Such as: insecurities, awkward moments, failures, bad dates, crushes, etc. Eventually, we would get around to talking about stuff that happened after lunch. And to make matters worse, the two women would sometimes be friends. So I would end up dating neither, because I don’t want to be that guy.

Speaking of being a guy, I try to identify with the male protagonist in rom-coms. But usually the only thing we have in common is a Y chromosome, which is more than I have in common with women. Obviously. I did pay attention in school once of twice, since Schoolhouse Rock never covered genetics.

Actually, I learned that by watching Kyle XY. I didn’t want to admit I watch ABC Family. Or Freeform. Or whatever they are calling it whenever in the future you are reading this.

Hello, Future People.

My favorite male actors who often appear in rom-coms are *drumroll* Hugh Grant and John Cusack. But you probably guessed that if you read part one. Don’t worry, there won’t be a part three.

*Huge round of applause from the metaphorical audience*

Hugh Grant often plays characters who are awkward, yet charming (I am more the former than the latter). Plus, Grant is English, and has a cool accent. John Cusack plays smart guys who are often confused by women (I am more the latter than the former).

It wasn’t until recently that I figured out my problem, but I am still in the denial phase. It turns out that I am not a Hugh Grant, John Cusack, nor any other leading man–I’m the sidekick. Yep, I’m Jeremy Freaking Pivin.

Blurgh.

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