I decided to class the joint up a bit and watch a Gerard Depardieu film. The problem is that when you are digging around in the bargain bin, you are not likely to come away with The Last Metro.
Viktor (Depardieu) is just of prison, where he did a stint for art theft. Well, at least he was arrested for a classy crime. Three months prior to Viktor’s release, his son Jeremie (Jean Baptiste Fillon) was murdered, and Viktor is looking to get his revenge on. So yeah… It seems that Gerard Depardieu is looking to become the French Liam Neeson. Which is weird, since I always considered Brendan Gleeson to be the Irish Gerard Depardieu.
The poster for Viktor (as seen on Wikipedia) describes the movie as “A film noir set in Moscow…” I’m like “Really?” I wish I had known this prior to viewing the film, because I would have broken out my film noir bingo card. As it stands, filmmaker Philippe Martinez may have been aiming for film noir, but he ended up with a good looking direct to video movie, that had a theatrical run.
When I say that Viktor is “good looking,” I am refering to the cinematography by Jean-Francois Hensgens, and not just to co-stars Elizabeth Hurley and Evgeniya Akhremenko. The latter actress plays a police inspector, while the former is Viktor’s love interest.
Yep, you read that correctly: Elizabeth Hurley is playing the girlfriend of Gerard Depardieu. Many critics had a problem with this aspect of the film, but not me. Then again, I am not a critic, I’m just another idiot with internet access. If you think this relationship is unbelievable, you need to get out of the house (or movie theatre) more often. I wonder what the critics would say about a film that paired Rebel Wilson and Ryan Gosling as love interests.
This film never caught, much less held, my attention, even with the attractive cast. We learn next to nothing about Jeremie, other than he fell in with a bad crowd and was murdered. He is less of a character and more of a plot device. We do learn that Jeremie’s girlfriend Katerina (Polina Kuzminskaya) is pregnant, but that has nothing to do with anything other than getting Viktor even more pissed off at his son’s killer.
The story structure is basically like a video game: Viktor works his way up the ladder killing underlings until he meets the big boss. For a split second I thought the film might go somewhere, but I should have known better. There was a stunt that looked like something out of a Lethal Weapon movie, (or the television series) but it failed to live up to potential. That pretty much sums up Viktor: a couple of good ideas, but it never does anything with them.