Hollywood is Full of Hacks part 2: And you thought The Newsroom had unbelievable dialogue

Usually, we have to wait for the tell all book or a documentary to get the scoop on the behind the scenes drama that surrounds the making of a movie. If not for the hacker(s) who infiltrated Sony’s email account, it is possible that the public would have never known the details of their failure to get the Steve Jobs movie made, and its subsequent move to Universal.

Can you imagine if email had been a thing back in the day? I would love to read the correspondence between the studio and Erich von Stroheim during the filming of Greed. I would like to know Francis Ford Coppola’s uncensored thoughts while making Apocalypse Now. Imagine the internal emails circulating about the how Michael Cimino’s Heaven’s Gate was hemorrhaging money.

The screenplay for the Steve Jobs film was written by Aaron Sorkin, and David Fincher was all set to direct, but much like most of the plans I make, it fell apart like Jenga blocks in a wind tunnel. One would think a reteaming of Sorkin and Fincher would be a no brainer, since The Social Network was a success on multiple levels. But much like a person who drinks the water in Mexico, Sony was unable to keep their crap together.

On a purely selfish note, I would like to know if Sony and MGM are ever going to make the final two films in the Millennium Trilogy. I think I know the answer; I would like to have it comfirmed though.

At various points, Leonardo DiCaprio and Christian Bale were in the running to play the part of Steve Jobs. In the case of DiCaprio, groveling was involved, and virgins may have been sacrificed. Tom Cruise was courted as well, and I do not even want to know what kind ceremonies were brought forth. Unless of course they were like the ones in Eyes Wide Shut, in which case: Tell me more.

Then Michael Fassbender was mooted as a possibility. In an email to Sony Pictures co-chair Amy Pascal, Aaron Sorkin wrote, and I quote: “I don’t know who Michael Fassbender is, and the rest of the world isn’t going to care.” Ouch.

Of course, Jesse Eisenberg was a household name prior to The Social Network, and Armie Hammer’s oeuvre ranks right up there with Justin Timberlake’s. If you have read the emails from the time The Social Network was in the casting process, you will know that Sorkin specifically requested that Andrew Garfield play the part of Eduardo Saverin, because Sorkin is a huge Doctor Who fan, and his favorite story is “Daleks in Manhattan/Evolution of the Daleks.”

No, not really. “Daleks in Manhattan/Evolution of the Daleks” is no one’s favorite Doctor Who story, but Andrew Garfield was excellent. He also makes an excellent Spider-Man, or should I say made? If the reports I read this morning are accurate, Garfield may have been given the sack. If so, it’s a damn shame, since any failure of The Amazing Spider-Man 2 had nothing to do with him.

There was a series of emails between Scott Rudin, the producer of the Steve Jobs film, and Sony Pictures co-chair Amy Pascal, about the availability of David Fincher to direct. Pascal stated that Angelina Jolie wanted Fincher to direct her film about Cleopatra. Doesn’t anyone recall the 1963 Cleopatra film starring Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton? If I am not mistaken, it lost 20th Century Fox a boatload of cash.

Needless to say, Rudin was less than pleased about this. His response to Pascal was to call Jolie a “spoiled brat with a rampaging ego.” Oof. While Scott Rudin is rumored to be the inspiration for the Les Grossman character in Tropic Thunder, he’s not a nobody–he’s an EGOT. And one must remember that without a Tony award, Rudin would be just an EGO.

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