U2: No Line on the Horizon

When U2’s No Line on the Horizon was released in March of 2009 I didn’t quite get it. After a few times listening to it, I came to the conclusion that it should be listened to while driving at night. Picture the “In the Air Tonight” scene from the pilot episode of Miami Vice and you’ll get the idea.

I didn’t listen to No Line on the Horizon for quite a while after that. I didn’t even hear any songs from the album until I saw U2 in Atlanta the following October. Let’s just say 2009 was a crap year and leave it at that. When I finally got a moment to myself and listened to the record again I realized I was partially correct regarding my theory. It seems there was far more to the story, and yes, there is a story.

Okay, it is a story only to me. I invented a story that follows the track list. I want to turn it into a film and I want Anton Corbijn to direct. The thing is, he really doesn’t need me since there probably won’t be any dialogue, and if there is any it can be improvised. There is also the fact that he has gotten along quite well without my help for a long time now. Why ruin a good thing?

So, here goes nothing.

It’s night and we see a car driving the streets of Atlanta. Why Atlanta? It’s my idea, and my city. What kind of car? I’m thinking Maserati–in a dark color, or possibly silver. I love Ferraris and Aston Martins, but they are a bit overused. My other choice is a black Dodge Challenger Hellcat, because badass. I want one, except I would want it in blue.

Because cool badass.

As the car is crusing along I-85, we hear “No Line on the Horizon,” and as the car exits onto the surface streets, more than likely Peachtree, but it doesn’t have to be, the song playing is “Magnificent.”

The car pulls into a hotel parking lot and the music pauses as the driver exits, remeoves a black bag, and hands the keys to the valet. The driver can be male or female–it doesn’t matter. It might make it more interesting if it’s a woman, especially if she’s driving the Dodge.

The driver checks in and takes the elevator up to the top floor. It might be funny if the song playing in the elevator is a Muzak version of “Elevation,” but then again…

The driver enters the hotel room, and proceeds to the balcony. As he/she is standing there taking in the view “Moment of Surrender” plays.

Just before “Unknown Caller” begins, there is a knock at the door at the door. The driver opens the door as if he/she was expecting someone. The two people talk–what they are discussing is irrelevant.

And then it’s time for business if you catch my drift. I don’t want to go into details, I’ll let you picture whatever you want to in your mind’s eye. This lasts from “I’ll Go Crazy If I Don’t Go Crazy Tonight” through “Fez–Being Born,” which is about sixteen minutes and fourty-three seconds, which may not seem like a long time for you or me, but it’s more than enough time to watch other people.

The music pauses as the two people part ways. Once the guest has had enough time to leave the premises, the driver exits the room, goes downstairs, gets into the car, and drives away as “White as Snow” plays.

The driver stops at a bar and “Breathe” is heard playing while the driver is having a drink. The driver puts a hand in his/her jacket pocket, then remembers you can’t smoke in bars anymore.

The driver pays for the drink, steps outside, thinks about having a cigarette, decides that it’s best to leave. “Cedars of Lebanon” plays as the taillights fade into the night.

The End.

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